Showing posts tagged My Life

It’s that time where, you wear your favorite old band tee because it’s big on you and you feel good in it and it smells old and you keep in hidden in your drawer only to feel it becoming glued to you like it wants to hug you and you hate yourself because you’re gaining weight and it just pisses you thee fuck off.

yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Nothing I can do but sit here and whine and cry and blah blah blah. Once May comes, yah, once May comes.

When you’re two hours early for work, all you can do is hang out at target for an hour an peep at the cats at pet co. Good thing I have my store connected to a strip mall, right?

I wish I never met people, I wish I never remembered anything, I wish I didn’t fucking give a shit.

I remember certain and specific people that I’ve met in my high school years and some of them really stuck with me in my memory files. I just hate that, when I do log onto bullshit Facebook and see I’m not friends with a certain somebody anymore, if we were, or at all, as if they had recreated a Facebook. It just hurts me and I hate that it does.

Why the fuck do I need to fucking feel that way and remember shit? Why was I chosen for the big heart and dumb brain?

For everyone, I feel as if I bother them with my existence so I don’t make any first moves or anything. I was picked on a lot growing up and I was never the “cool” kid so, I kept to myself, as I do now. If I see someone I know somewhere, I won’t go outta my way to say hi but if we cross paths and make eye contact, then I will. I’m not rude, I just don’t feel that people care that I’m there and actually like them, y’know?

I’m shy. Always have and always will be and I can’t fight it. I’ve gotten way bettrr than my teen days but it’s still there.

Point of all this is, I just wish I didn’t remember everything and care if I’m not friends with certain\specific people, be it on fb,instagram or tumblr, you get the idea. I like people. That’s all I can say. I hold onto certain memories with them and I just wish they’d remember me.

But this is life. You don’t really get things you want. You can’t have everything. I know that. I’m not a baby. I just remember people in good light and I like the feeling I get when I think back.to them.

I’m not an annoying kid. I’m fucking awesome. I’ve had a lot of people stick to my side my whole life and its quite small but that’s from people leaving. Once the door is shut, its shut.

Yah, hey. I’m jessi. I’m almost 25. I’m a nice person.

Dead sore. My nose, back, side, eyes. They all are hurt and tired.

Today was a successful day. Crashed at izzys, spent the day in his room while he was at work, finished season two of American horror story, had pizza with his family.

He came home, watched DBZ and we headed to the stores and then watched Captain America winter solider in Imax 3D. It was real good. I enjoyed it a lot. So much going on.

I didn’t get to get a small cupcake for my Dad for his birthday but I did my events for him.

I called off work. Had to.

Cheers.
Time to bury myself in my bed. Farewell.

I turned 3 today. Felt longer, but I only assume that because of my past tumblr. When I came back, my old username was taken but it’s not in use.

Whoever took it, or is using it, doesn’t deserve it.

Well, happy birthday, my tumblr. You’ve got me into many bands from meeting many rad people who I consider real close friends. Yah — I’ve meet my online buddies, jealous? Oohh I’m such a rebel, a risk taker. ;)

Watched so much gore\horror\creepy shit yesterday and the day before. Last night it started to get to me. I started to get a little nervous and all that bullshit.

Had a pretty normal dream until I had to remove my face\head and I.had another underneath it. That’s normal, isn’t it?

Ah ha. Ah ha.

It inspired me to sketch some shit an maybe paint or use color pencil to just fill it in and we’ll see if it works. It never comes out the way I want it to. But we’ll see.

I’m going to watch more gore\horror\creepy shit later today before work. That is my day.

Hm. Yes.

My boyfriend called me creepy last night. I couldn’t have been anymore happy.

I’m a big ol fuckin nerd. C2E2 is in two weeks and this here^ is next month. An anime convention.

Anime nerds, you’re in trouble now.

I’d very much like to have some coffee. I’d like more than one cup. Thanks.

I’ve been day dreaming of Evan Peters and I’d sort of very much like to touch him and have a conversation with him over coffee.

Sounds good, right?

Here I am, in my natural habitat. Just got home from work.

Got these flamins, gonna rewatch my DVD of the obvious. Looking like shit. Fuck it. Inhale everything.

I just fuckin love my dreams. My little fuckin.weird mind creates such beauty.

And just to throw it out there, I have insane sex dreams. I.don’t know where they come from.