Me: What the fuck, man.
Mom: What?
Me: Why does this cost so much? -points to ‘Freaks and Geeks’ DVD set-
Mom: Freaks and Geeks? Jessica, what the fuck are you watching?
Me: MOM, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

-Mom exits room-

I swear…. 

My boyfriend’s 4 year old sister, Bella, was sitting next to me waiting for me to finish my dinner and she was asking me a lot of questions.

My phone rings and it’s my friend Steve. When I hang up, Bella asks me who I was talking to. I told her Steve and she goes “from American Dad?” I go “Yes…Yes Bella. I am friends with Steve from American Dad”.

It was wonderful.

Me: well, fingers crossed for you, man.

Friend: For what? To get laid?

Me: Yes.

Friend: I don’t want to get laid. I just want to hold someone’s hand.

Me: Awwwwh! :3

[May be pointless to you, but I enjoyed this.]