I wish I never met people, I wish I never remembered anything, I wish I didn’t fucking give a shit.
I remember certain and specific people that I’ve met in my high school years and some of them really stuck with me in my memory files. I just hate that, when I do log onto bullshit Facebook and see I’m not friends with a certain somebody anymore, if we were, or at all, as if they had recreated a Facebook. It just hurts me and I hate that it does.
Why the fuck do I need to fucking feel that way and remember shit? Why was I chosen for the big heart and dumb brain?
For everyone, I feel as if I bother them with my existence so I don’t make any first moves or anything. I was picked on a lot growing up and I was never the “cool” kid so, I kept to myself, as I do now. If I see someone I know somewhere, I won’t go outta my way to say hi but if we cross paths and make eye contact, then I will. I’m not rude, I just don’t feel that people care that I’m there and actually like them, y’know?
I’m shy. Always have and always will be and I can’t fight it. I’ve gotten way bettrr than my teen days but it’s still there.
Point of all this is, I just wish I didn’t remember everything and care if I’m not friends with certain\specific people, be it on fb,instagram or tumblr, you get the idea. I like people. That’s all I can say. I hold onto certain memories with them and I just wish they’d remember me.
But this is life. You don’t really get things you want. You can’t have everything. I know that. I’m not a baby. I just remember people in good light and I like the feeling I get when I think back.to them.
I’m not an annoying kid. I’m fucking awesome. I’ve had a lot of people stick to my side my whole life and its quite small but that’s from people leaving. Once the door is shut, its shut.
Yah, hey. I’m jessi. I’m almost 25. I’m a nice person.