Showing posts tagged memories

I wish I never met people, I wish I never remembered anything, I wish I didn’t fucking give a shit.

I remember certain and specific people that I’ve met in my high school years and some of them really stuck with me in my memory files. I just hate that, when I do log onto bullshit Facebook and see I’m not friends with a certain somebody anymore, if we were, or at all, as if they had recreated a Facebook. It just hurts me and I hate that it does.

Why the fuck do I need to fucking feel that way and remember shit? Why was I chosen for the big heart and dumb brain?

For everyone, I feel as if I bother them with my existence so I don’t make any first moves or anything. I was picked on a lot growing up and I was never the “cool” kid so, I kept to myself, as I do now. If I see someone I know somewhere, I won’t go outta my way to say hi but if we cross paths and make eye contact, then I will. I’m not rude, I just don’t feel that people care that I’m there and actually like them, y’know?

I’m shy. Always have and always will be and I can’t fight it. I’ve gotten way bettrr than my teen days but it’s still there.

Point of all this is, I just wish I didn’t remember everything and care if I’m not friends with certain\specific people, be it on fb,instagram or tumblr, you get the idea. I like people. That’s all I can say. I hold onto certain memories with them and I just wish they’d remember me.

But this is life. You don’t really get things you want. You can’t have everything. I know that. I’m not a baby. I just remember people in good light and I like the feeling I get when I think them.

I’m not an annoying kid. I’m fucking awesome. I’ve had a lot of people stick to my side my whole life and its quite small but that’s from people leaving. Once the door is shut, its shut.

Yah, hey. I’m jessi. I’m almost 25. I’m a nice person.

This was the last photo on from my day of birth yesterday. It’s me behind my.old store that they decided to close down.

I drive pass it a lot and its depressing to see it so empty. Looking at it at this light you can’t believe how filled it really was.

I hate my new store. Haaaate it. Its fuckin huge and the kids I work with and trained are morons. I don’t know.

Anyway, last night I got a drink named after me and that really fucking ruled.

187 is retired?

That’s pretty strange. It sucks and is a bit sad to know Senses Fail wont ever play that song again. I’ve been fortunate enough to hear it more than once and with all different members they’ve been through.

I don’t like how some people say it’s a shitty song and they don’t care if it’s ‘retired’ or not. I mean, you don’t have to be there from the VERY beginning to appreciate the song and the E.P it came off of, but it does add a little extra.

I always think it’s weird when someone prefers the new sound of some band rather than the first shit they put out because they had gotten into the band a little late.

I always find myself getting into bands the moment they arrive and I have got into a great handful of bands in the middle and really late but I alwaysssssss come back to really enjoying any band’s first shit.

I can see the arguments between the people who are pro first album years and those you aren’t. Yadda yadda.

It just makes me a bit annoyed and aggravated that people were just complaining that the song was ‘whack’ and shit. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and thoughts and I understand the band’s perspective and this and that.

I know it can be annoying and old to keep hearing fans chant a certain song title and I understand how they’d feel since none of the original band members are in the band as well.

It’s just, classics man. FUCKING CLASSICS!

Like someone said, we did it to Anthony Green for ‘Seven Years’ [FUCKING LOVE THAT SONG HAHA] and Thrice for “Deadbolt”.

It happens, though. You can’t hate or blame the fans[us] for loving it so much. It grew with us as that album or song grew us up in grammar/high school.

Rant over. HA. I just really like that song and I’m not really upset that they’re retiring it. I was just annoyed with the comments.

OH, supposedly Senses Fail are breaking up in 2015? The fuck?

The Smoking Popes - Off My Mind

This tee means SO much to me on SO many different levels and I JUST bought it.

One thing for sure, it goes without say: I am my father’s daughter.

I love you, Dad. I miss you.

This is Andrew and myself.

This was taken last year Halloween at a party we were both at that Steve and his sister put together.

This is our first photo together and it says a lot about us. Kind of hard to believe we’ve only been friends for two years now.

His birthday is tomorrow(or I should say 8 hours from now) and I can’t wait long enough to make a post about it, lol. My creative juices by then won’t be flowing and I won’t think of something awesome to say.

I love this dude. I’d do anything for him and I hope he knows that.

Getting to know Andrew, he pointed out that I’ve got to watch him grow and turn into a different person. and it’s true.

I couldn’t ask for a better friend. He’s taught me some shit thats very small but means a lot in big ways that I just can’t explain.

Ups and downs, best and worst.

If assholes could fly, this place would be busier than O’Hare.

So here is how it went down:

I woke up randomly around 4:30AM and I had got a glass of water. After that, I felt I should text Steve to see if he was ok, to see if he landed. I didn’t know what time his flight was seeing as all I knew was he left at 2AM.

I texted him something funny in regards to “Tommy Boy” and I hope he’s doing good. [This was his first plane ride] and he ends up calling me. I’m all frantic trying to take my phone off the charger and he’s all “Dude, guess what?”

I’m laying in bed thinking “Oh God..something bad happened”

Turns out, his cousin bought him the wrong plane ticket. Well, the plane ticket was correct, it was the airline that wasn’t correct. We have two here in Chicago. O’hare airport and Midway airport. They were at O’Hare where his cousin was flying out at and well, he got Steve a Midway ticket. -FACE PALM-

How fucking ridiculous is that? Steve was pissed off and I don’t blame him.

I tell him I’m going to pick him up and I had called my brother to see if he was willing to come with me since he’s a “night owl” and sure enough he was up and he has a GPS on his phone, soo…yah ;D. Bonus.

off to get Steve at 5:30 we get to him around 30 minutes because we beast at driving. We’re all wide awake and tired and our breaths reek and we’re just listening to mixes trying to make the best of the morning.

Aside from Steve getting fucked over by his cousin, I like to think this made an awesome as fuck story for us to share with everyone.

After my brother dropped off my car at home I drove Steve and myself to Purple Steer and we got some breakfast. Too early to laugh? NEVER.

Made a pit stop somewhere, got gas and it then dawned upon Steve that he didn’t have his house keys and no one was home.

Guess what? I climbed through his kitchen window like a bad ass and had opened his door and he was home.

What a fucking morning. I got home at 9AM and worked out til 10 and now I sit here waiting to pick up my pay check and make some stops before I come home and make lunch and bum it til work.

So, Tumblr, how was your morning?