Showing posts tagged memories


Love when this happens.

I love it when people I know are in bands, or have been for years since I can remember and shit, you know, like them high school days.

Some I’m stoked for, others I can give two shits about. I met this guy Mike through my friends and he was just a kid when they asked him to be a part of their band. That band didn’t last but it’s funny how you meet people and shit.

I wasn’t Mike’s friend, I just talked to him on AIM and shit, that type of relationship I guess. I met this guy Alec through another friend and I think they were ina band together, from what I can recall with this shit memory I have now, and that old band didn’t last either but Alec and Mike are ina band together that’s pretty well known and that stokes the fuck outta me.

I’m not sure if they were in bands before, because some of us didn’t talk like that and shit.

That band that Alec and Mike are in is Like Bats.

Some of my friends that I met on here, good ol Tumblr, like them and I think that’s rad.

Some of my friends meeting through local shows obviously like them, since they lived in the same area where I was in Chicago.

I just like it when shit like this happens.

What I don’t like is that, Like Bats is playing June 1st and June 16th. I always have to work Mondays and I’m not sure if I can go see this this Sunday and it’s sad because I have yet to see them play.

Some friend I am. Some fan…..ahah!

Finch - What It Is To Burn.

I’ve been in a huge Finch mood these past two weeks, or maybe it’s longer or less, but it feels like that. 

Nobody really wants to know why, but I stumbled on R2K’s Instagram from Ian’s [bass player of NFG] because of a photo he posted and tagged Randy in it. Alas, I started to follow Randy, who later regramed the photo and tagged Nate, the singer of Finch, on it, and that led me to follow him and that also led me to find Finch’s own Instagram. That right there led me [yes, I’ve been led to a lot of things, I know] to see a photo that said ‘Finch, warped tour 2014’. 

I paused for a moment and just blinked and got excited and anxious and nauseated at the same time.

I did everything I could to avoid Warped Tour this year. I didn’t check who was playing and what date landed on Chicago. I missed last years Warped and I really wanted to go, but I wasn’t fortunate with money and blah blah blah. I missed my first year since 2003. It was upsetting. A lot of rad bands were on that year.

So, needless to say, I checked Chicago’s date to see if Finch was on and they weren’t. I checked my second option which was Indianapolis, where I’ve traveled there before for a Warped. So, they’re on. So, I need to go.

It’s been an insane ride since finding all of this shit out. I fucking adore finch. They were a huge part of my life when I was a teenager and that feeling hasn’t left me. They broke up and once they came back to play their 10th anniversary show of their first full length, ‘What it is to burn’ — which is my favorite album…ahha. but it sold out so quickly, I missed it.

I’m just unlucky with shit like this. 

So for this to happen, I can not not go, y’know? I don’t think people remember them or even care for them now. Which is fine, more for me. Then again, the forum I was on reading\asking about Warped tour this year, were kids. They wanted all of that new poppy punk. Granted I like some of the new pop punk they mentioned and I was introduced to, but man….FINCH! and I love that Saves The Day will be playing as well.

There are 13 bands I want to see this year. I have a handful of maybes.

I’m just happy I’ll get to see Finch after all of these years. 

I found Finch off of a compilation cd for a ‘Plea for peace’ tour. It was the second cd to come out and that was in 2002. 2002 was right when Finch’s first full length had came out. I had that demo version of the ‘what it is to burn’ song and it was so much better than the one of their full length. I just appreciate demos and junk. I love both versions equally. I’m a fan, what can I say.

I was 13! Fucking 13! I had graduated 8th grade. I was discovering music at the end of 6th. It was right when my brother wasn’t  such a fucking asshole with music to me and how everyone I knew was starting a band.

I could have had an amazing life at that age if I didn’t listen to my brother. I wanted to go to shows and shit but he would tell me I couldn’t. Can you fucking imagine if I had went to warped in 2002?! BLINK 182 WAS HEADLINING. That’s when I went to my first one in 2003 without him and with my friend.

Anyway…..I found finch at a young age and at their peek of start-um[yes? correct term?] so, they’re pretty embedded in my life.

— end.

The Dead Kennedy’s are coming to the Bottom Lounge June 27th. Its a Friday. I really want to go. It pains me Jello won’t be there but it is something I’ve been wanting.

I can’t necessarily tell you where or how it was that I came to love them so quickly, but I can tell you my Dad shown me “Urgh, a music war” and we watched it together and DK was on it, amongst others. It was an awesome moment for me because me and my Dad were enjoying the same music, bonding you know? I’ve always liked the music\bands he’d shown me but the majority of my taste he didn’t care for. Not all, but the majority.

Urgh, I just need to go to this show for my sake of loving DK and to tell my Dad I did once I go through the pearly gates. I fucking miss him.

Naturally, Esteban will be my partner in joining me in this show. We’ll have a gnarly, gay ol time.

I wish I never met people, I wish I never remembered anything, I wish I didn’t fucking give a shit.

I remember certain and specific people that I’ve met in my high school years and some of them really stuck with me in my memory files. I just hate that, when I do log onto bullshit Facebook and see I’m not friends with a certain somebody anymore, if we were, or at all, as if they had recreated a Facebook. It just hurts me and I hate that it does.

Why the fuck do I need to fucking feel that way and remember shit? Why was I chosen for the big heart and dumb brain?

For everyone, I feel as if I bother them with my existence so I don’t make any first moves or anything. I was picked on a lot growing up and I was never the “cool” kid so, I kept to myself, as I do now. If I see someone I know somewhere, I won’t go outta my way to say hi but if we cross paths and make eye contact, then I will. I’m not rude, I just don’t feel that people care that I’m there and actually like them, y’know?

I’m shy. Always have and always will be and I can’t fight it. I’ve gotten way bettrr than my teen days but it’s still there.

Point of all this is, I just wish I didn’t remember everything and care if I’m not friends with certain\specific people, be it on fb,instagram or tumblr, you get the idea. I like people. That’s all I can say. I hold onto certain memories with them and I just wish they’d remember me.

But this is life. You don’t really get things you want. You can’t have everything. I know that. I’m not a baby. I just remember people in good light and I like the feeling I get when I think them.

I’m not an annoying kid. I’m fucking awesome. I’ve had a lot of people stick to my side my whole life and its quite small but that’s from people leaving. Once the door is shut, its shut.

Yah, hey. I’m jessi. I’m almost 25. I’m a nice person.

This was the last photo on from my day of birth yesterday. It’s me behind my.old store that they decided to close down.

I drive pass it a lot and its depressing to see it so empty. Looking at it at this light you can’t believe how filled it really was.

I hate my new store. Haaaate it. Its fuckin huge and the kids I work with and trained are morons. I don’t know.

Anyway, last night I got a drink named after me and that really fucking ruled.

187 is retired?

That’s pretty strange. It sucks and is a bit sad to know Senses Fail wont ever play that song again. I’ve been fortunate enough to hear it more than once and with all different members they’ve been through.

I don’t like how some people say it’s a shitty song and they don’t care if it’s ‘retired’ or not. I mean, you don’t have to be there from the VERY beginning to appreciate the song and the E.P it came off of, but it does add a little extra.

I always think it’s weird when someone prefers the new sound of some band rather than the first shit they put out because they had gotten into the band a little late.

I always find myself getting into bands the moment they arrive and I have got into a great handful of bands in the middle and really late but I alwaysssssss come back to really enjoying any band’s first shit.

I can see the arguments between the people who are pro first album years and those you aren’t. Yadda yadda.

It just makes me a bit annoyed and aggravated that people were just complaining that the song was ‘whack’ and shit. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and thoughts and I understand the band’s perspective and this and that.

I know it can be annoying and old to keep hearing fans chant a certain song title and I understand how they’d feel since none of the original band members are in the band as well.

It’s just, classics man. FUCKING CLASSICS!

Like someone said, we did it to Anthony Green for ‘Seven Years’ [FUCKING LOVE THAT SONG HAHA] and Thrice for “Deadbolt”.

It happens, though. You can’t hate or blame the fans[us] for loving it so much. It grew with us as that album or song grew us up in grammar/high school.

Rant over. HA. I just really like that song and I’m not really upset that they’re retiring it. I was just annoyed with the comments.

OH, supposedly Senses Fail are breaking up in 2015? The fuck?